Apparently my last post got people talking (and unfollowing!). I got tons of tweets with responses about other’s Twitter/Facebook/blog pet peeves, and I wanted to share a few of them with you.
But first….
Dear Unfollower,
I’m guessing on of my Dear (Fill in the Blank)s applied to you, huh?
I’m not going to lie – I enjoy stirring the pot every once in awhile. I’m not sitting over here twirling my mustache by any means, but every once in awhile, you just got to call people out on their BS.
Dear Big Spender,
Listen, I enjoy shopping. I also enjoying blogging and tweeting about my purchases. It’s fun to show friends your new shoes or purse! However, if you constantly whine and moan about how you are “so broke” and you can barely pay your bills, don’t freak out when people raise their eyebrows when you tweet about buying $100 shoes or new makeup. Not being able to pay your bills usually means necessary purchases only.
Signed,
Judgmental. I’ll admit it.
Dear So In Love,
Your husband is not that great all the time. Please. I’m sure he farts and leaves his socks on the floor just like mine. I bet he even picks his nose when you aren’t looking. He’s probably even – GASP – had carnal thoughts about Kim Kardashian. Listen, I completely get you don’t want to bash your husband on your blog or Twitter. That’s great! But please stop tweeting 10,000 times a day about how perfect your relationship is. I’d believe you if you talked about how he grated your nerves once in awhile. No relationship is perfect, honey booboo. It’s usually the people who need so desperately to convince others that their relationship is perfect who need the most work.
Sincerely,
Been Married 8 Years & Some Of Them Were Unpleasant
Dear Faker,
Girl, please. You are not that nice. I’m well aware that you are talking about me on HeyTell (did you SEE what Andrea just tweeted?! OMG!) while tweeting me wishes for a nice day. I wasn’t born yesterday.
Dear Promoter,
I get it. You have a new blog post. Super cool! I read it the first time you Facebooked or tweeted about it. No need for 20 more tweets in one day. How about you throw in some other topics? If your only tweets are tweets that promote your blog, I guarantee you that you’ve been unfollowed or muted.
Dear Mother Knows Best,
Seriously. There is no possible way you can give me the directions to Antarctica, tell me how to bake meatloaf, advise me on who I should vote for, and solve my son’s calculus homework. Yay you’re smart! Thanks for the advice, friend, but it is ok if you don’t know something. Dummies unite!
Your name isn’t Siri, is it?
Dear Mother of the Year,
Geez. You have an opinion on everything, don’t you? CIO, cloth diapering, daycare, SAHM, organic foods, Baby Einstein… While I appreciate that you are so informed, I don’t need you to tell me how to parent. I especially don’t need you to tell me you think my parenting is bad or wrong. Shame on you! Parenting books DO NOT make you an expert in the subject. Wait… you’ve only had one child? Your child is 2 months old? Shut your trap, woman, and give me advice when you’ve been there, done that – successfully.
Dear Football Fan,
Yowzers. How about we all just agree not to tweet during football games? How about football season, period? Your fan devotional is much appreciated, but don’t be a player hater. Seriously. Don’t hate on the players. Or the coaches, or the other teams for that matter.
Go Gamecocks!
Dear Excitable,
You know, I get this one. I really do. You can see above that I’m guilty of this myself. However, NOT EVERY TWEET NEEDS TO BE CAPITALIZED. It means you are yelling.
Calm down, woman!
What’s annoying you today?
30 comments:
I had to share these with my husband because I was laughing so hard!!
Good job, my friend!
What's annoying me today? People who come into my office to have their taxes prepared who received government assistance all year long and made just the amount needed to receive a tax refund that is more than half of that income. I'm not bashing government assistance if it's needed - I'm talking obvious fraudulent returns that I cannot do anything about. Meanwhile I'm working my arse off to make it payday to payday and currently without any health insurance. Makes me get all stabby and junk. Ugh.
Love! That one about the nauseating bragging about how perfect their husband is was my fav one! Too funny and so true. If you gotta shout about t all day, prob means its bullshit!
These make me so happy when you post these! :-) And seriously who would unfollow you because of these posts!? They're the BEST!!! I get so excited when I see them in my blog roll! My personal favorite is the people who leave comments that don't even have anything to do with your blog and just say, "Hi. Please follow me at blah blah blah. Thanks!" I have actually gotten those.
Hahahaha! I love when you do these posts!
And, I happen to agree with them too. Of course, I'm not a mom...so I have no practical advice what-so-ever.
haha I love these! I went back and read your last one too. Too funny! I have definitely done the bitch/snark/wink thing (you're totally right - I knew what I was doing all along). hahaha.
Nothing drives me crazier on Twitter than people who promote their blogs all day long. Nothing wrong with tweeting a new post, but I follow a couple people who do it like every hour and I'm about ready to unfollow them
The promoting the blog post 8,000 times a day is so ridiculous!! There is no need!! If someone wants to read it they will read it! I know that if I see someone tweet or facebook about it more than once, I'm not going to read it and I hide their posts of Facebook! I can stand re-tweet and re-Facebookers!!
I also can't stand the fake ones! There have been a couple of times that someone has commented on my blog or Facebook about me having a good day or something and I know they just got done bitching about me!!
I have done the husband is great post many times, but like you say there are things that my husband does that makes me want to punch him in the face!!
This post made me laugh out loud!! So so funny!! :)
LOVE IT! Haa! Espesh the husband one and faker one! Keep em coming, cause we are all thinking it!
I love these post! SO funny! And true.
You know I absolutely love you and these posts!
Here's another annoyance:
Dear I'll be your friend today:
I'm well aware of your little tactics. We have some of the same "friends" in common and, let me tell you, they tell me way more than they should.
I lost a follower this week too. I was bummed at first, but then I figured out who it was and I'm ok with it.
I left a Dear ______ letter last week, guess I'll do another one.
Dear Friend,
You don't need a man to be happy! You're always broke because you spend tons of $$$ on shizz you don't need. And you don't need the highest quality of every single product you purchase. You can't handle your own finances but you sure like to tell me how to handle mine. Not everyone has the same interests as you so stop asking me after I've told you no 87 zillion times. The reason you're sick all the time is because you don't take care of yourself. You don't get enough sleep, you don't eat well, you're very overweight and you really need to shower daily.
Signed,
Your Friend
I. Love. This. Post.
The end!
Keep Shining,
Meghan
Had to come back b/c I had one more:
Dear Holier than Thou:
Maybe you should take a look at yourself before you make snarky remarks about others. And if you think something is about you, and you feel all self conscious about it, maybe it's b/c we are onto you. You aren't really who you say you are.
Go say a prayer or ask twitter for some
:) Love this. Made me giggle out loud!
I love it! You must be doing something right if you've got haters haha! Here is what is annoying me today:
Dear Mrs. Braggy McBraggy Pants,
I think it is fabulous that you homeschool your four children, make your own bread, cloth diaper your baby, sew clothing for yourself and your children, breastfeed your 3 year old, and manage to find time to complete adorable and complicated crafts and science experiments every flipping day. But here is the thing - I don't care that you do any of that as I barely manage to find time to feed (commercially prepared food) and play with (sometimes we watch Disney movies. Lots of Disney movies) my children. I don't know who you are trying to convince that you are a better mother than the rest of the world, but congratulations, you totally win the prize. I will be sure to remind your children of this when they seek therapy in their later years for the completely unrealistic expectations of life you have set them up for. I know I should unfriend you, but I get a sick pleasure from reveling in my inadequacies compared to your awesomeness. Thanks for making me feel like a lazy dope.
Love,
Some mom you are obvious better than
This is what I love about blogging and having my own place. I can say what I want and express my feelings any way I choose!
YOU GO GIRL!!!
Best blog post ever!!!
Ditto to all of the above!
I'm glad you didn't talk about those that constantly post pics or "sneak peeks" to promote their business. Ha!!! I know I've got to be an annoying tweeter.
I actually felt the need to come back and comment again after letting the post sink in a bit.
I feel like most of this post is light-hearted and funny - lots of truths that most of us have done once or twice.
However, I think that at least one part of this took a more personal and direct approach to attacking someone - and that's just mean. I'm sure you don't feel like you've attacked anyone, but reread parts of this and think about how you'd feel if it felt like someone was talking about you.
If you truly have a problem with things that people are tweeting about their lives... maybe the best way to deal with it would be to talk to that "friend" directly.
Just my thoughts.
THIS POST IS FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!
Signed,
EXCITABLE
PS you seriously crack me up.
Stumbled onto your blog and just wanted to show yous some blog luv! def LOVING this post :)
http://infinitelifefintess.com
http://mscomposure.blogspot.com
Best Dear (Fill in the Blank) yet!
"Been Married 8 Years & Some Of Them Were Unpleasant" made me laugh out loud. Literally.
uhm...I though it was funny then Kim H. made wonder...
not judging but being one of those broke gals I tend to save on to get the things I want (we don't use CC) so if I want a pair of boots I do save -sometimes for 2 yrs...I'm just saying that may be their case (?)
@Nina, Saving is the way to do it!! For me, I read that letter more as the gals who will tweet on Monday that they have no money and then Tuesday, they buy a new $500 purse...
I love this. I am guilty of feeling the same as you and being the occasionally offender. Either way, this isnsuper funny!
Love them all. Seriously want to copy and paste some of them to my FB.
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