Awhile back, Christine commented:
I love all of your posts. You should post another one about YOU....how are YOU doing lately?
At first I was all like “I love being a mom! My life is great! Wonderful! Puppies and bright shiny skittles all day long!” (in the voice of Tenley from Bachelor Pad). But then I slowly came to realize… I’m lying to myself a little. Don’t get me wrong – being a mom is wonderful. It is bright and shiny and the skittles are scrum-dee-li-umptous.
On a serious note, I love my son so very very much. It’s more than I can put into words. In fact, when I try to think about how to voice my love for my child, I cry. Because there is no words for the deep, abiding love my parent has for their child. It just is. It’s big and huge and overwhelming, and it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. He is mine.
At the same time, being a mom is so much more than I ever thought it would be. When I was pregnant, I imagined myself as a perfect mommy. Don’t we all? I thought I’d have it all together. I’d be the moms I saw in Target, walking around with their babies with perfect hair, painted nails, makeup, and cute outfits. I’d have a look of perpetual bliss on my face and would never raise my voice. My son would be such an angel that perfect strangers would stop me in stores and praise his beauty.
Hahahahahaha.
I’m no perfect mommy, y’all. First of all, I don’t go to Target alone with Cooper because it is a fair bet that he will decide the most fun game on Earth is to screech like a demented parrot all throughout the store. People don’t commend me for his beauty, the peek around the aisles to locate the sound that is making their ears bleed. I now apply my makeup at stop lights and in parking lots, and my hair is a perpetual mess because I don’t have time to blow dry it. Cute outfits? Hah. Spit up and snot are not cute accessories.
Sigh.
I can deal with those things, though. It’s all part and parcel of the mommy gig, in my opinion. What I truly wasn’t prepared for is hard utterly hard it is to find time for myself.
My typical day exists of stumbling out of bed 20 minutes after the alarm goes off because I am completely exhausted. I hear Cooper stirring but decide to leave him in his crib until I get out of the shower. I take the world’s fastest shower, scrunch gel in my hair so it can air dry, and throw my makeup bag in my purse for later. I am forced to wear jeans in the 110 degree heat because I didn’t have time to shave. I grab Cooper, get him ready for the day, and fix him breakfast and lunch for daycare. I drive him to daycare, putting on my makeup at stop lights, and suffer through the quickest pass off in history because I’m already 10 minutes late for work. After working 10 hours, I come home to play with Cooper for 20 minutes before his dinner time. I feed him dinner, cleaning the kitchen and prepping his daycare bag while he enjoys his finger foods. After his dinner we start his bedtime routine: bath, lotion and pjs, bottle, and bed. Once he’s asleep, I fix dinner, eat, clean up, watch some mindless television, and hit the sack.
It’s hard, y’all. Really hard. I’m not whining because I’m certainly grateful to have a job in this economy, and I do love being a mom. I just wish I could find some balance in my life. Jason is wonderful – he absolutely is my partner in every way and he contributes just as much as I do. I just wish I could find some balance!
How do you do it? How do you find balance in your life?
13 comments:
Considering you work outside the home, our lives are totally different.
But otherwise - you just do. You do what you do, put makeup on at traffic lights (or with your kids wanting to use your bathroom because their brother/sister is hogging the other one) and you don't shower til noon.
At this point I have two older kids for help (DH is gone, and will be for a LONG while) - every day for a few weeks now they take JW outside to play for a little bit. Sometimes it's 15 minutes, sometimes almost an hour. Any of that is fine with me.
I get pedicures with my Mom, usually taking JW in his car seat and also taking Alice cause she likes pedicures too.
I wake up early (or try really hard to).
I keep doing what I love - reading, sewing, blogging, quilting, lunch with a girlfriend, etc.
Girl, I HEAR YA! Holy cow-this is my life on rinse and repeat, I just only work till 4 pm. But, i have hardly any time for m:yself-I am taking it right now-at 8:15 and will be asleep by 10! It's this season of life, and it is hard, but beautiful!!
xoxo
I've learned to subsist on very little sleep. I am lucky that Little M now wakes up between 8 and 9, but I don't go to bed until about 2 am. She goes down at 7:30 so that's lots of time for me. I also shower at night, just touching up my hair in the morning so I have plenty of time to shave! But that's just me, not everyone likes to stay up to the wee hours of the morning, haha. And don't worry, Little M is a screamer too. Target and food shopping only happen when my husband is home to watch her!
Balance. What's that? If you find it let me know, I've been looking for it for the past 16 years! No I'm just kiding, you'll catch your stride, it will just take some time. The amount of time varies person to person.
I have been a SAHM since the beginning and at times cannot find the balance. I have all the respect in the world for working mothers!
You're a rock star Mom and Cooper is blessed to have you as his Mommy. Tell yourself that every day because if you and he believe it than nothing else matters!
It's funny that you write this as I was just thinking the other day, How do mom's do this? I used to be a working mom and felt like I had a better routine since I was always rushing against the clock. Now that I SAH I have to fit all my needs: cooking, cleaning, showers, etc. while my Lil Man is sleeping.
I am with you on Target or any store. I have to save that for when daddy can watch him. From what my freinds say, it does get better when they get a little older. It has to click at some point, right?
~KM
http://lifeasiknowitthemanleyway.blogspot.com
It sounds like you're doing great! What a selfless mommy! I never thought it would be so much work to take a baby out--packing the meal, snacks, sippy cup, extra outfit, toys, diapers, etc...wow. So much for a little guy, right?
Andrea, thanks for "featuring" me. :-) I'm excited.
You know I'm coming up on my delivery date and I'm nervous about how I'm going to balance the baby, life, and work. I have a feeling my day will be like yours!
Hopefully as time passes you will be able to find a better balance and we'll see more of your craft, cooking, and makeup posts again. And of course some of the Coopster!
This is why I think we are so blessed to have someone come to our house to take care of Caitlyn. It was definitely a bit tougher the one week I took her to a friends house when our nanny was on vacation. I think for me, I got used to taking quick showers a long time ago (getting as much sleep as possible before a watch) so that doesn't bother me. I get a few minutes before I leave for work to take care of some things around the house. When I get home, Caitlyn gets my first attention and then we usually start dinner. She often eats with us unless for some reason we're eating a bit later and I will put her to bed while finishing our dinner preps. She goes down between 6 and 7, so I try to get stuff done after she goes to bed. It is tough to find that balance. You're doing a great job though :)
Hmm..that is the key isn't it? The search for balance. I think it depend on your definition of balance. When I worked full time, I made the most out of all the time I had with my kids. It wasn't an easy battle and many times work won, but my kids didn't ever know it b/c they had their momma at 100% (even if it didn't feel like that for me). It is a short period in life and goes by so fast, you will want it back. Just make each moment with little C & J matter and that's the happy kind of balance you need right now.
~Becca
First off, thanks for stopping by my blog! I hope you visit often!
Secondly, I think you moms who parent AND have full time jobs outside of the home are amazing! I don't know how you do it. It's hard enough being home and balancing it all, so don't beat yourself up. Just do what you're doing and enjoy the time you have with your husband and your little one.
P.S. I was a social worker too!
I am not a mom yet and I still have trouble finding balance! It makes me scared to have kids... thanks for being honest though-I think all my moms struggle with this! Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Getoutoftown! you totally copy my life! (in whinny Paris Hilton voice) Yeah, that's pretty much my life except that you have to add in to the mix that we are a one car family and I have to pick up hubs from the train station also.
Basically I FORCE time for me. Tomorrow Saturday I work from 6am till 3pm (which means I have to be up by 5am) I already told the hubs I'm getting a mani-pedi after work. It's my mini spa time. I also been known to wash and blow dry my hair at 11pm (I kid you not) oh, and did I mention we also have an 18yr old that will be attending college in January? FUN TIMES! :) hang in there. It will get better.
Isn't it lovely when readers ask a great question!! I am not yet a mom but I can imagine how hard it is to find balance in your life. It sounds like you are a wonderful mom!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
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