It Does Get Better!

Thank you SO MUCH for your comments on my “I Never Imagined” post. I read every single one, sometimes multiple times. I appreciate your encouragement – it gets me through the really tough days! When I was having really bad days, I’d come back and read your comments and know that someday soon things would improve.

I can’t believe how much has changed in just two short weeks! It is like someone flipped a switch in my child. He is much happier and contented. These days he *mostly* just cries when he is hungry or overly tired. My husband is also getting up with him some nights and every weekend, so I am getting more sleep as well. It’s amazing how much more calm and happy I feel with just a little more sleep!

I did go to the doctor a few weeks ago to talk about PPD (post-partum depression). I had been feeling very overwhelmed and angry. I was just mad all the time… not normal mad, but honestly filled with rage. I knew it wasn’t normal and that I needed to see someone. Military healthcare is so frustrating – I called to make an appointment and was told they couldn’t fit me in for a month. Seriously? I explained my situation and still was told that my concern was considered “preventative care” and wasn’t urgent so I’d have to wait for an appointment to open up. I had to go above the person who makes the appointments just to get in to see my doctor.

The appointment was interesting, to say the least. I met with someone new because my doctor is deployed to Iraq. I had Cooper with me because Jason was at work. He was in the sling, and when the doctor came in he was crying. She asked me what was wrong, and I explained he was hungry and proceeded to fix him a bottle. There was nowhere to sit so I sat him down on the exam table and started to feed him. She took him away from me and gave me this massive lecture about how I needed to spend more quality time with him. Apparently me not holding him that one time to feed him set off some red flag for her, because she questioned me endlessly about how much time I spent holding him and whether or not I wanted to hurt my child. After I spoke with her about how I was feeling, she said I was sleep deprived and “prescribed” me more sleep. She told me to put one tablespoon of rice cereal in Cooper’s nighttime bottle to get him to sleep for longer periods. (I’m so glad I checked with his pediatrician first because I just assume doctors know best – and rice cereal isn’t recommended for those under 4 months.) Anyway, some good did come of the appointment. I left with a prescription for antidepressants and after hearing about my appointment, Jason started getting up with Cooper some at night so I could sleep.

Several of you had told me that one random day, Cooper would start sleeping through the night, and I think he’s about there! Last Saturday he slept from 8pm until 4:30am. I actually think he would have slept longer, but I was so freaked out that he hadn’t been up that I accidentally woke him up when I was checking on him. Since then, he’s been going down to sleep between 7:30-9:00pm and sleeping until 4:00-5:00am. He eats and then goes back to sleep until 8:30am. Sometimes he will sleep longer if I put him in the bed with me.

I apologize for my lack of blogging, commenting, and responding to emails. I return to work very soon and I’m just trying to soak up as much time with Cooper as possible. My last day of maternity leave is April 5th, and I return to work on April 6th. I really do not want to leave me baby, but money for diapers and formula is a necessity, right? :)

I’ll leave you with an “OMG” moment I experienced recently. I’m honestly amazed at some of the comments that I get from people when I’m out with the baby. A few weeks ago, I was at Sam’s Club. Cooper was crying, and a lady came up to me and told me to “pull that titty out and feed that child!” Seriously. There are no words.