First of all, the winner of the vinyl lettering giveaway from Empressive Designs is Kim from The Chavis Family! Congrats, Kim! Please visit Carisa’s etsy shop and use the “contact seller” link on the main page to let her know you are the winner of the giveaway. Let me know what you choose!
This morning I got a call from my mother that my grandfather has taken a turn for the worse. This is my father’s father, and he has been in a nursing home for almost 2 years now. He has dementia and a whole host of other problems. He went into the hospital last week for an infection and the doctor told my aunt this weekend that it was time to bring in my grandmother (who is not well and has a hard time leaving her house due to her medical problems) to see him.
My mom said that on Saturday, my grandfather’s blood pressure was 70/40 and all he wanted to do was hold my grandmother’s hand. She would pull her hand away when he went to sleep and he would wake up and take her hand again. This is not my grandfather – he is stubborn, persnickety, eccentric, and the least sentimental person I have ever met in my life. I knew then that things were bad. My grandfather usually doesn’t want to see my grandmother because he blames her for putting him in a home.
I have such mixed feelings. I love my grandfather and of course I don’t want him to die. But do I pray for healing when he is obviously in pain and hates his quality of life? Selfishly, I don’t want this to be the end. But is that what he wants for himself? Maybe he is ready to go?
Dementia is so cruel. He often doesn’t remember who you are when you go and visit him. My aunt is my grandmother. My dad is my brother. My brother is my dad. Thankfully, he has always remembered who I am – because I don’t think I would have been able to handle it had he not remembered me during a visit.
I did get to see him the weekend before last. He couldn’t focus. You would ask him questions and he would answer you five minutes later. It took him awhile to remember who I was, and I don’t think he knew who Jason was.
I’m sorry this is such a Debbie Downer post, but I’m very confused. I just don’t know what to think, or what to pray.
20 comments:
Hang in there, girl ... my grandmother is going through the same thing right now. Sometimes I feel lucky that I'm not close by to see her losing her mind (and health), but at the same time I feel guilty for not calling/writing as much as I should. Dementia is horrible; I don't wish that on anyone. Be thankful he remembers you - you are obviously a very special person in his life! *Hugs*
**hugs***
I am finally back online after traveling & the move and I just saw your post. I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Health issues like this bring up so many mixed emotions. Sending you a hug and hoping you have extra strength and support at this time...
I am so sorry to hear that your grandfather is not doing well. In this situation, I guess I would just pray that God's will be done. God knows your heart...and He also knows what is best.
I'm so sorry! Seeing your loved ones in pain an incoherent is so hard. May you and your family find peace no matter what the outcome. (((HUGS)))
Pray for Gods will, peace and forever healing!
I'll keep you in my prayers.
~S
Hi Andrea ~ dementia is such a horrible disease. My mother died from it and it was so scary. In the end, she didn't know me or my kids and they were the love of her life. I wish now that I had spent more time with her, instead of always worrying about myself.
Hang in there...it is very confusing.
Hugz,
Michele
I so understand how you feel...I lost my beloved grandmother to Dementia many years ago...but she finally passed the day before Thanksgiving...Although difficult having her not remember me, or being scared...at least I could put my hands on her and give her a hug...
Then in February, I lost my other grandmother...For her, death had been long as slow...so it was such a blessing for her to finally pass...She was 92, and had lived a long good and happy life.
I understand your pain...my thoughts and prayers to you!
My thoughts are with your family in this hard time.
praying for peace for you and your family!
((Big HUGS)) I know what it's like and it is such a hard place to be in. At the end, my grandfather thought I was my mom, my mom was his sister and my grandmother was an old girlfriend (!). I'll pray for you.
You've really had it rough this year, haven't you? I am so sorry!!!
Don't really have any advice for you other than what everyone else has already said - just to leave it in God's hands, He'll knows what's best.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ((((HUGS))))
I'm so sorry Andrea! You are in my prayers! It must be so hard to see someone you love go through this.
Hugs!
If I were you I'd ask God to do His will, and I'd ask for "peace that passeth understanding too."
In fact, I will just go do that for you now...Keep us updated!
Oh Andrea - what a hard time. It is so difficult to see loved ones who are in bad health. I am sending prayers your family's way.
((hugs))
Jen
My grandfather battled Alzheimer’s for years and though I was young, it was so sad to see him suffer. He was combative, confused and mistook me for his daughter (my aunt) when she was younger. He also suffered multiple strokes. Towards the end, I prayed for him to be at peace and left it in God’s hands. When he passed away, I knew that he was in a better place.
I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending big hugs your way.
THANKS girl for the giveaway!! I can't wait to pick something out!! :)
I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I know you want what's best for him. I hope you find comfort in knowing he won't have these problems in heaven. I'll be praying for you and your family!
Ya know that's one of the ironies and cruelties of life--one I went through when my mother passed a few years ago. It's tough, rough and it sucks. hang in there!
I am praying for you and your family. I understand your struggle. None of us are going to live forever, and even though we wish we could keep all of our loved ones around, we don't want to see them suffer. This is a difficult situation and I pray for God's peace for you and your family.
{{{{{{{{{{Andrea}}}}}}}}} It does sound like end may be near for him, but yes, it will probably be a blessing for him, if not everyone else that loves him. Diseases that cause dementia are so cruel because they take away a person's dignity.
I'm so glad you got to visit him a couple weeks ago.
justine :o )
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