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Friday, March 7, 2008

Ladies, are you wearing your underpants?

**This is actually a blog I wrote sometime ago on MySpace, but I'm reposting it here just because.**

Are panties (fashionably speaking) out?

They must be, if the wave of celebrities caught with the lady bits on display are any indication. Britney Spears was caught by photographers three times this week, wearing miniskirts or minidresses, with no underwear. Lindsey Lohan's crotch has been seen so many times that it has its own nickname - "Firecrotch". Oh, and let's not forget the pioneer of this trend, Paris Hilton. Everyone has seen her C U Next Tuesday.

I won't link you to the pics, because they are nightmare inducing, but I'm sure you could find them if you Google "Britney's bare vagina" or something similar. However, here's an article on the subject (no pictures):

When did this become acceptable? I can sort of understand if one night Britney was feeling frisky and decided to abstain from underwear. Ok, fine. I guess it is plausible that she accidentally flashed her va-jay-jay to the entire world. But the next day, when the pictures were published, wouldn't you be horrified? Wouldn't you make sure your bits and pieces were covered the next time you went out? At the very least, if you wanted to continue going commando, wouldn't you put on pants or KEEP YOUR LEGS TOGETHER?!

Not Mrs. (Miss?) Spears. Apparently she got rid of her underwear drawer when she got rid of K-Fed. Maybe K-Fed stole all her underwear and is going to sell them on E-Bay to keep himself in the style to which he has become accustomed (thanks to Britney's money).

Britney, Britney, Britney. I won't even talk about your questionable extenstions that you appear to have purchased from your local dollar store. I'll refrain from asking where your children are when you are out partying every night. I'll even ignore the fact that you are BFFs with Paris Hilton, Queen of No Talent. But I can't ignore your vagina. It's right there in my face. Honey, no one wants to see your c-section scar. Cover that mess up. I'm worried someone might catch those STD's that Kevin probably gave you.

Let's review the merits of panties:
1. First and foremost, they cover our va-jay-jays. It's still taboo (to most people with sense) to show those off in public.

2. They can be sexy, cute, slimming, smoothing, sporty (insert an adjective here).

3. Boys seem to like them (exception: granny panties).

4. They keep your privates private.

5. Again, most importantly, they cover your private parts. This is the most important lesson to take with you from this blog. Cover your lady parts!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Job interviews are always such fun...

Yesterday I had a job interview with a treatment facility that deals with mental health problems for adults and children. The job was for a Mental Health Technician, or someone to provide education, group counseling, and supervision for children in long-term inpatient mental health screening. The interview was great, until the questions began to get a little concerning.

"Has anyone ever spit on you, hit you, or kicked you?"
"How would you act if someone did those things to you?"
"How do you deal with aggressive, violent people?"
"What would you do with a belligerent, disobedient child?"
"What would you do if you went into a client's room and they were nude?"
"How long would you stay if you were hired? Can you commit to working here long-term?"

Ok, so let's read between the lines. The job is violent. You will be dealing with aggressive kids who hit you, spit on you, and kick you. They may be naked while they do it. If you ask them to do something, they will curse at you and tell you no. We are interviewing because no one wants this job because the above happens on a daily basis. Oh, and the salary is below the poverty line. When can you start?

I think not. I'm not opposed to working with difficult children. I'd welcome it in the right situation, but not at that salary.

Thankfully, I don't have to worry about that BECAUSE I GOT A JOB! The offer came through today. I'll be working with mentally handicapped individuals, serving as an advocate to make sure they get the treatment and services they are entitled to. Praise Jesus!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Finally getting around to the MeMe

I was tagged by several people for a MeMe quite awhile ago, so here it is!

1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post THE RULES on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

You can find links to Sam's (Musings), Dulcie's, and Dani's blog on the sidebar of my blog. I haven't quite figured out how to insert links here so that's the best I can do for #1. I'm also not tagging anyone, as I think everyone has done this already. If you haven't, get busy!

1. I love Slim Jims. They are oh-so-bad for me, I know. I usually ban myself from buying them because I will literally eat them all in one sitting. I'm actually sitting here right now thinking "Go on, Andrea. Go downstairs and snap into a Slim Jim."

2. Large bodies of water soothe my soul. I feel such peace from being at a beach. Lakes and even ponds will do, but there is nothing like the beach. If I'm upset and I set foot on a beach, everything is suddenly ok in my world. The sound of the waves, the cool sand, the salt air... it's my happy place.

3. My favorite lotion is Udderly Smooth, an udder balm for cows. Don't hate. It's the best thing for dry, sensitive skin.

4. I currently suscribe to 8 magazines: Us Weekly, Glamour, Allure, Better Homes & Gardens, Martha Stewart Living, Southern Living, Instyle, and Real Simple. Ridiculous, I know. In my defense, I get all my subscriptions at least 50% off on Ebay. Us Weekly is a weekly magazine, usually $50 a year, and I got it off Ebay for $11. Not bad!

5. The baby bug still hasn't bitten me. I logically know I need to start thinking about having a baby soon but the overwhelming baby fever isn't there yet. I don't think I can afford to wait until it hits, though. What if it never does?

6. Thanks to my father, I have the body hair of an ape. You could braid the hair on my arms, and I have somewhat of a moustache that I must groom weekly. Thanks, Dad. What a legacy to give to your child.

7. I'm addicted to nasal spray. I've been using it for almost 10 years now and I can't stop. I know I need to ween myself off of it, but seriously, it is an addiction! PSA: Don't use it when you are sick, even if you do need the relief. Your cold will get better, but once you start, sometimes you can't go back.

Monday, March 3, 2008

I'm baaaaaack!

This will be somewhat of rambling post, since I want to catch up on everything about the move at one time.

My last day at work was January 11, 2007. It was really bittersweet. I wasn't expecting to be sad about leaving but I was. One of the teen volunteers gave me flowers and stopped by to say goodbye, and a co-worker gave me an awesome Starbucks mug and gift card. At the end of the day, it was hard to say goodbye.

Jason got off the boat in Hawaii on that same day, and flew into Seattle on Saturday, January 12th. We didn't have time for much of a homecoming since there was so much to do: packing, cleaning, organizing, shopping... The movers came on January 14-16, and we checked out of housing on Friday, January 18th.

***To anyone who may be checking out of Bangor housing - this is your public service announcement: Please do not bust your butt cleaning the way my husband and I did. It is a complete waste of time. We seriously worked nonstop for about 14 hours. We had a huge long list of the things they were going to check and we really went overboard: scrubbing walls, cleaning our patio bricks on our hands and knees, bleaching our fence, popping out our windows to clean the tracks... and it was for nothing. Our housing rep, Liz, came in and glanced around, and then walked back out. The whole thing took 10 minutes! Unbelievable. All those stories you hear about $3000 fines? They are probably made up to scare you into cleaning the way we did.***

We left WA on January 19th and were able to make it to Oregon, where we had to stop due to a bad snowstorm. Now, most of you know I'm a southern girl. Down south we don't drive in the snow. The world stops, schools close, grocery stores are cleaned out, and you stay put until the snow melts. I had never really driven in extreme weather conditions, and this was BAD to me. I was terrified! I couldn't see a thing, just blinding white, and I had no idea what the road was like in front of me. I just followed a huge truck, whose lights I could barely see in the distance, and prayed. It snowed almost 6 inches that night - crazy!

We started out the next morning and were ok once we made it into Idaho. Utah and Wyoming were covered in snow, and Nebraska was the coldest temps I've ever experienced in my life (-15 degrees). I know a few people are wondering how the dogs fared in these temps... not well. They wouldn't use the bathroom because it was too cold, and they stopped eating as well.

We stopped in Illinois to visit Jason's family midway through our trip. Illinois was great! We didn't have much time to spend with everyone, but we spent the night with Jason's sister, Angie, in Bloomington, and visited with her family. The next day we drove down to Centralia and saw Jason's father. For those of you who don't know, Jason's dad has cancer, and at that time he was in the hospital. It was great to see him, his mom, and his sister, April, and I am very happy to report that Jason's dad is now home and seems to be doing a lot better.

We finally made it to Charleston early Friday morning on January 24th. We attended our final inspection that morning, which was the first time we had seen the house in person. To tell you the truth, I was very overwhelmed. My grandparents, my aunt, and her husband had driven up to meet us and I had a wild mixture of emotions: happiness at seeing my family for the first time in over a year, overwhelmed at being around so many people (in addition to us & my family, we had the real estate agent, the builder, and about 3 other people I can't remember), and a little fear and trepidation at seeing the house.

After we wrapped that up, we headed home to North Augusta, where I was able to visit the rest of the family and catch up on some much needed rest. We went back to Charleston that Sunday, and we closed on our new house on January 28th. The next day was my birthday, when we went shopping for some new living room furniture. We had a great day and were able to eat at three of our favorite restaurants - Chick Fil A for lunch, California Dreaming for dinner, and Kaminsky's for dessert. I think one of the things we missed most about South Carolina was the good food! :)

Unfortunately, things went downhill a little from there. Our movers came to deliver our household goods, and several things were lost. They found our bed, mattress, box springs, and mattress topper, but our computer desk was missing. We've got a lot of boxes still to go so I don't know if there are other things lost. That's was a huge headache to deal with and I'm very cranky over the loss of our belongings. I know it is just stuff, but still... we paid for it, and someone else somewhere is probably enjoying it. We ended up just breaking down and buying a new desk, so hopefully we'll eventually get reimbursed for the old desk.

I've still got a lot left to unpack - the kitchen and living room are completely done, but the other rooms upstairs are only somewhat unpacked. My parents came down last weekend and helped us unpack. Thanks to my mom I now have living room and bedroom curtains (no one can hang pictures and curtains like my mom!).

I have to admit, I had mixed feelings about the house after we moved in. On one hand, it is our house! But on the other hand, all these things kept going wrong, and I found myself being quite resentful. For example, the dishwasher wasn't hooked up correctly. The bedroom door won't close. The builders didn't install a drain in our laundry room. The backdoor isn't aligned properly so you have to have the strength of a bodybuilder to lock the deadbolt. Still, we've fixed the majority of those things, and I'm getting accustomed to the others.

I've sent out about 50 or so resumes since we arrived, and I had my first interview last Friday. I didn't have a great feeling about the interview itself, but I heard through the grapevine that my references are being called, so that's a good sign!

Well, I think that is enough for today. As soon as I find my USB cable for my camera, I'll post some pics of the house and the new living room furniture.


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