Dear Douchebag...

It’s back, friends! This is what many of you said was one of your favorite blog topics, so in an attempt to please my readers (ha!) I’ve decided to make this a regular feature.

Either write your own post (leave me the link in the comments section), or leave some of your own letters in the comments section!

Dear Speed Racer, 

You know, it really won’t hurt you to park further from the store. I’ve been waiting behind you for 10 minutes in your search for the perfect parking space. Old Lady McGee seems to be cleaning her dentures, and I don’t think she’ll be pulling out of her spot any time soon. How about you move your car so I can get to where I need to be this century?

Beep beep! No, really. 

Andrea

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Dear Wal-Mart worker, 

I’m guessing you missed your Customer Service 101 training. If you had taken it, I’m sure you would know “I don’t know” is not the proper answer when I ask you where product XXX can be found. Nor is “did you look for it?” acceptable. 

Sincerely, 

It’s a poor economy and other people would love your job.

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Dear Daycare Worker, 

I suppose I should tell you that my husband and I refer to you as “Sassy Sequin Pants”. Really, I adore your style. Tights, sequin shorts, and glitter Tom’s are an excellent look when you’re waist deep in poop and snot. Still, I can’t fault your ability to accessorize. Your beret is quite sassy. 

Work it, girl.

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Dear Chick-Fil-A, 

I’ve long referred to you as the Target of fast food. Seriously, I love you bunches. However, you recently stepped in it. Please explain to me why I must pay for cream cheese when I purchase a bagel? Really? Panera does not make me pay for cream cheese with my bagel. 

Get it together. 

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Dear Parents, 

I realize your child is probably on your last nerve. Dropping him or her in the Chick-Fil-A play zone and immersing yourself in your iPhone probably seems like the only way to hold on to your sanity. However, if you don’t get your inattentive butt in the play zone and extract your 5 foot, 100 pound “under 3 year old” I will shank you. 

Sincerely, 

The woman who is disciplining your brat while you check into Foursquare. 

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Dear Kohls, 

Marking something up in price so you can put on sale for 40% off is not really a deal. I’m not dumb and I realize I am paying the same price for goods as I would elsewhere. 

I love the Kohl’s cash, though. 

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Dear Kristin Cavallari, 

Well played, girlfriend. I guess he isn’t going to break off your engagement now, is he?

Mindless Fun on a Thursday Morn...

Mallorie from Happy Home tagged me in a MeMe, and since I’m lacking in inspiration I thought I would play along.

11 Randoms About Me

1.      I get super crazy about having a clean floor right after I’ve swept and mopped. I will literally get down on my hands and knees and pick up little bits of dirt or whatever is tracked in the house. It is absolutely insane.

2.      I never wake up on time. An alarm is just a suggestion, right? Who wants to be on time, anyway? Make an entrance!

3.      I am a huge fan of the Transformers movies. Jason and I watched the most recent movie this weekend, and I cried when I thought Bumblebee was going to die. I do believe I screamed “Noooooooooo! Not Bumblebeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” as I ugly cried.

4.      I buy salad greens every time I go to the grocery store, intending to get my salad on, but those greens end up turning brown and slimy in my produce drawer. Good intentions and all that.

5.      It drives me crazy when Cooper tells me no. I mean, I know every parent doesn’t want their child to tell them no, but I think I probably take it to another level. I float above myself when it happens and I actually see myself becoming my mother. “Don’t you tell me no, Mister! I AM YOUR MOTHER!”

6.      I am a diehard Republican, but I have 0 interest in the Republican candidates. Political rant: While I think Gingrich has the best hope of actually balancing the budget, I think he’s a bit of a douche. Jason says that shouldn’t matter but it does. Cheater cheater and all that.

7.      I am horrible about buying picture frames and never placing pictures in them. Jason forced me to go and get pictures printed before Christmas since we were hosting Christmas Eve dinner. He said he was embarrassed. Whatevs, Jason. Step one is the picture frame. Step 20 is the picture.

8.      My house is only truly clean when I know someone is coming to visit.

9.      My method of cleaning is to move things from room to room, until it finally ends up in the final room and I’m forced to put it all away. When I clean the kitchen, I put everything that doesn’t belong in the living room. What doesn’t belong gets moved to the stairs, and so on and so forth. I’m really just moving messes around the house, but it works for me.

      It would literally make my year if Kim would rip off her wig and show us her real hair.

      I used to spend a lot of time daydreaming about being a contestant on shows like American Idol, The Voice, etc. Now I daydream about being the parent of the winner of American Idol. In every situation where someone achieves something or wins something, I think how proud of a parent I would be if that was Cooper.

Mallorie's Questions

1.      If you could live anywhere where would that be?

If money was no object, I’d have a beach house on Edisto Island, and I’d live in Columbia, SC or Charleston, SC.

2.      What is your favorite board game?

Life.

3.      What is your favorite season?

Winter. It goes far too quickly in SC/GA.

4.      If you had to choose would you rather have a perfectly cleaned house each day OR never have to cook again?

Ooh, this is a hard one. I’d choose the perfectly cleaned house, though.

 5.   If you found out that you had unlimited funds and money was no longer a problem what is the first thing you would buy?

I’d pay off all our debt and I’d probably buy new cars for Jason and I – something bigger for me and more fuel efficient for me.

6.      Do you get a bigger rush from a big splurge or finding a great deal?

I’m an impulse shopper… so really, both.

7.      How do you sleep at night? Side, back, tummy?

I sleep on my left side.

8.      What is your guilty pleasure TV show?

I love Real Housewives of Atlanta and New Jersey.

9.      When you were younger what did you want to be when you grew up?

A writer – which I guess in a way came true!

1    What is your favorite blog post that you've written so far?

Probably my pregnancy posts or my post about depression.

11  Which would you rather have painted, nails or toes?

Nails!

I'm being lame and not tagging anyone... but feel free to play along if you would like!

Valentine’s Day Polka Dot Mani Tutorial

Hey friends! Today I am guest posting at Stuttering Shell. Hop on over to Michelle’s blog and check out my tutorial for this super cute, super easy polka dot mani – it’s perfect for Valentine’s Day!

I hope to see you there!

2 On Tuesday: Music

Happy Tuesday! I hope you’ll join in and link up today to talk about your favorite music!

Today’s topic is:

What is the song you play when you want to get pumped up?

What is the song you play when you want/need to cry?

What is the song you play when you’re cleaning?

What is the song you play when you’re exercising?

(You do not have to link videos – you can just list the songs if that is easier for you. )

I love old school rap music, and there is always one song I put on when I need a little boost.

Young MC – Bust A Move

When I want/need to cry (come on, I’m not the only one who puts on music and cries, am I?) I put on some Coldplay. I don’t even like Coldplay, and this song makes me cry.

Coldplay – Fix You

When I’m cleaning, I listen to the Glee soundtracks on repeat. I loved the Treble Tone’s performance of “I Will Survive/Survivor”!

Glee – I Will Survive/Survivor

As far as exercising, who am I kidding? I don’t exercise. I’m excited to see your recommendations, though!

And for a laugh – did you see the skit SNL did about Adele this weekend? It fits in perfectly with my second question. You must watch!

I hope you will link up today! I look forward to reading your answers!

A Case of the Mondays

Don’t forget to take my Reader Survey and be entered to win a $25 gift card!

Dear Lord… ever feel like you need a weekend to recover from your weekend? We didn’t even do anything this weekend and I’m ready to tear my hair out. Cooper has been a crazy man and (as I write this on Sunday evening) I am SO ready for bedtime. I love you, kid, but… go to bed!

We have been so lazy around here since Cooper’s birthday, mainly because we’ve all been sick. I woke up last Friday morning and couldn’t hear out of my right ear. Jason convinced me I had a wax build up (I swear I clean my ears daily) so I ignored it, and it got progressively worse. On Sunday, it started hurting so I went to Urgent Care. The doctor was shocked I had waited so long to come in and told me it was the worst infection she’s ever seen. (Why I am always the best at these types of things?!) She started me on two different types of ear drops and one oral antibiotic. ($70 ear drops with insurance that did not work. Shoot me now!)

Being as I have never had an ear infection (at least not that I can remember) I had no idea what to expect as far as recovery. Even with the meds, instead of getting better it just got worse. I couldn’t hear at all out of my right ear. It felt like cotton was stuffed inside and I couldn’t hear unless I turned my left side to face the person speaking. I finally went back to the doctor this past Friday, and not only had the right ear not gotten better, but I had an ear infection in my left ear.

Super awesome. Thankfully he put me on a stronger antibiotic and a steroid, and the left ear has cleared up. I still can’t hear out of the right ear, but it does feel less “full” so I’m hopeful.

Now Jason and Cooper are both sick with colds and basically I just want to bleach my whole house this coming week.

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Anyone have any tips for curling short hair? This is the length my hair is now. I’m growing it out, but it is taking forever. I don’t want super long hair (because my hair is so thick, I think I would be miserable with super long hair) but it would be nice to have shoulder length hair, I think. My hair is a little longer than it looks because I curl it under.

I haven’t used a curling iron since college, and I have no idea what I’m doing. Way back when, you used to curl towards your face and under. I take it you are supposed to curl away from your face now? I’m clueless. I don’t even know if my hair is long enough to really curl without looking stupid.

I did buy this curling iron (1 inch) after hearing According to Nina say it was what she uses regularly.

Wal-Mart

So, any tips?

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I’ve raved about one of my favorite shampoos and conditioners to you guys before – Pureology Nanoworks – but I stopped using it because of the expense. (One 8oz bottle retails around $50.) Like I said, it is expensive, but it saved me from damaged hair after a coloring mishap. I was in Trade Secret Friday and they have all their liters on sale, buy one full price and get 75% off the second liter. That is a great deal on Pureology and you should check it out if you are a Pureology user.

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My Twitter friend, Jenn, sells Arbonne and a while back mentioned they were having a 50% off sale. I took the opportunity to snatch up the RE9 Advanced Face set. I’ve been using it for two weeks, and so far so good. I will give a full review after 6 weeks or so of use.

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Tomorrow is 2 On Tuesday, and I’ll hope you’ll come by and post! The topic is:

What is the song you play when you want to get pumped up?

What is the song you play when you want/need to cry?

What is the song you play when you’re cleaning?

What is the song you play when you’re exercising?

Can wait to read your answers! See you tomorrow!

Advertising on My Chihuahua Bites!

This is a work in progress. Stay tuned!

Reader Survey & a GIVEAWAY!

This month I’ve joined in with SITS to participate in the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog challenge. It’s been really eye opening… not only am I trying to assess my blog from my readers’ perspectives, but I’m also re-evaluating my reasons for blogging.

I’ve been blogging for a long time… since 2008. That’s three years of words, pictures, laughs, and tears. Sometimes it has felt like the most natural, rewarding thing in the world, and other times it has felt like a chore I have to check off my to-do list.

I told Jason tonight that I feel like I’ve stopped blogging for myself and started blogging for numbers. I sit around and try to think up topics that my readers will like instead of blogging about something that’s important or interesting to me. When was the last time I wrote a “Dear Cooper” post? I stopped because I thought y’all found it boring. I don’t really blog very much about my day to day life. Why? I just don’t know.

In 18 years when my son is grown, I don’t want him to read this blog and learn how to make a peppermint wreath. I want him to read this blog and know what kind of woman and mother I was at this point in time. Is that coming across in my blog? I just don’t know. I’m not saying tutorials, recipes, etc. are bad – I just want to try to balance things out with more posts about me.

Do you, as my reader, know who I am? Does that come across in my writing? Do you feel I’m “real”? Can you relate to me? That’s what is important to me.

With that said, what you think of my blog matters to me. I want this blog to be someplace you visit regularly. I want to build relationships with my readers. Your opinion is important to me, and I need your help.

I want to solicit your opinion. I’ve developed a reader survey, and in appreciation for the time you spend answering my questions, I’m going to give away a gift card to one lucky reader.  All you have to do is answer the questions below in the comments section. One commenter will win a $25 gift card to the store of their choosing (Wal-Mart, Target, Amazon, or Sephora).

Please be honest. (Don’t be mean – be honest. ) I appreciate your honesty, and I know I’m opening myself up to criticism by asking for opinions.

Reader Survey

1. How long have you been reading my blog? Do you remember how you found my blog?

2. How often do you visit My Chihuahua Bites?

3. What do you like best about my blog?

4. What do you like the least about my blog?

5. What are your favorite types of posts to read?

6. What type/topic of post will you automatically skip right over? (For example, you hate Memes, or Brain Dumps, or posts about my child…)

7. If you aren’t a regular commenter, can I ask why?

8. Do you watch vlogs?

7. Is there a topic you’d like to see me blog more about?

8. What is more important to you – if a blogger responds to your comment via email, or if the blogger visits your blog and leaves a comment?

That’s it! Feel free to leave me any other helpful suggestions/comments.

Thank you everyone!

Birthday Wish List

The wish list worked pretty well for me for Christmas, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to document my birthday wishes, huh? Dear husband/birthday fairy, are you listening?

Sidenote: have I ever shared that on the first birthday we celebrated as a married couple, my husband got me a salt & pepper shaker as a gift? (I don’t collect salt & peppers shakers, for the record.)

Everybody and their mama has a pair of Toms. I think it is time to jump on the bandwagon, and these glitter shoes will serve me well. A few questions about Toms: where do you order? We don’t have a department store that carries them. Are they true to size? Do you think they are comfortable?

I’d like every color from the China Glaze “Colours From The Capital” collection.

I’d like the Hourglass Veil primer, please.

I think every cook needs the Paula Deen Southern Cooking Bible.

Most of all, I’d like a date night to the restaurant of my choice, my pick of a movie, and to sleep in on my birthday. That sounds PERFECT!

I accept care packages! (Kidding. Kind of. )

Christmas Recap

Happy Wednesday!

I know this is super overdue, but since this blog is supposed to document my life, I wanted to be sure to blog about Christmas.

We had such a blast celebrating this year. Cooper was at a perfect age to begin to participate in Christmas activities.

Cooper loved Santa. LOVED. We took him to see Santa, and he saw Santa three other times at various events. He’s the only child we know of his age that wasn’t scared. When Santa came to daycare, I’m told he was the only one in his class to run up to Santa and asked to be picked up.

Terrible pic of a pic

The Elf On The Shelf was a huge hit. Ollie (thanks for the name suggestion, Brandy!) ruled the roost in our household! Cooper would wake up each day, and as soon as we walked downstairs he would start searching for Ollie. As I mentioned here, I think next year I will separate Ollie and the book advent calendar. Cooper was very sad that Ollie left on Christmas Day, and he has asked for him a few times since.

We did pretty good on our Christmas traditions, although there were a few that didn’t get done this year. We did not go see a Christmas musical at church, decorate a gingerbread house, or make a birthday cake for Jesus. (I feel bad about the last one.) Not too shabby!

Now onto the pics!

My dad’s work threw a children’s Christmas party early in the month. This was the first time Cooper had ever seen Santa, and you can see his reaction. He didn’t quite know what to think, but he perked right up once he realized Santa had a present!

This year we decided to try something new and see the Lights of the South, which is held at a huge farm. You can walk through or ride on hayrides and see all the lights. It was freezing that night – it really made the whole experience less than enjoyable.

I hosted Christmas Eve this year, and I had about 20 people over for dinner. Cooper had a bit of a meltdown mid present opening and I had to take him upstairs and put him to bed. He refused to take any pictures.

We attempted to do a White Elephant gift exchange with my family on Christmas Eve, and it was a disaster. My grandparents just didn’t get the point, and people were more concerned with getting a “good” gift than just having fun with the experience. I was really disappointed in the whole thing.

My parents spent the night on Christmas Eve so they could be there when Cooper woke up and saw what Santa brought him! He got some good gifts.

His big gift was the train table, which he has absolutely no interest in. I am hoping he grows into it. All he has done with it so far is destroy the tracks my mom so painstakingly put together.

He does love the Mini Cooper, though!

Mommy got a new camera lens and this was my first shot.

I got Jason a Roku, a Dremmel tool thingamabob, the ESPN documentary set 30 For 30, some Elmo pjs, a laptop, some clothes, and a digital picture frame for his office. Funny: I picked up Tim Tebow’s book at Barnes and Noble and didn’t notice until Jason opened it that it was a YOUNG ADULT book! Haha! The pictures should have clued me in.

Jason did so well with my gifts this year! Apparently he took his phone to Sephora, pulled up my wish list, and told the girl to get the items on my list. Yay! Y’all know how happy that makes me. He also got me some cocoa from Williams Sonoma as well as a few stocking stuffers. He said he went to the Apple Store (he shopped on Christmas Eve) to get me an iPad but turned around once he saw the line. Haha!

I know I’m late asking, but how was your Christmas?

2 On Tuesdays: Red Carpet Fashion

Hello friends! Thanks for sticking by me through my absence. I hope you are all ready to dive back in to 2 On Tuesday!

Today’s topic is:

What celebrities do you think have the best red carpet fashion? What celeb’s closet would you like to raid?

Last night was the Golden Globes, and while I don’t really love the award shows themselves, I sure do love the red carpet! Here are a few celebs I think got it right last night.

Source

Source

If I could raid any celeb’s closet, it would be Lauren Conrad’s. I love how classic she always looks, and even though she’s quite a bit younger than me, she isn’t super trendy.

Source

Do you think I could pull off blonde hair? Hmm…

By the way, Lauren and her style team (hair, makeup, nails) had a fab beauty blog with wonderful tutorials and tips. Check it out!

How about you? Don’t forget to link up!